


Blind Date.

by RT Fice (RT_Fice)



Category: Beetlejuice (Cartoon 1989)
Genre: Blind Date, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Jealousy, Original Character(s), Silly, Tricking parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28314333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RT_Fice/pseuds/RT%20Fice
Summary: Beetlejuice gets wind of Delia setting Lydia up on a blind date with a college guy.  With the jerk on his way over to pick up Beej's girl, The Ghost With The Most has to think fast.A simple, quick bit of Cartoonverse silliness.
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice/Lydia Deetz
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24





	Blind Date.

At the one place that passes for a delicatessen in Peaceful Pines, Delia Deetz has an enlightening talk with the mother of an Ivy League college student. Her son has a scholorship and a spotless, shining reputation. _And_ he's single.

Both women are unaware that they're being overhead by a ghostly form lingering nearby.

Delia promptly sets up a blind date with the young man and Lydia. When she informs Lydia that this is going to happen, and bulldozes over the young woman's every objection, Lydia retreats to her room in fuming, frustrated rage.

As Delia congratulates herself, the doorbell rings.

Delia, opening the door: “Mr. Beetleman?”

Beej, in full Mr. Beetleman gear, looking very intense: “Did I hear right?”

“That...depends?”

“Not that kid? Not THAT kid??”

“I--”

“You set yer daughter up with THAT kid?”

“How on earth can you know--”

“Th’ fact I know means I _know,_ ya know whut I mean?”

“I--”

“Delia, I can call ya Delia, right? Delia, if ya saw whut I saw, if you’d _seen_...” Shakes his head. “You got any idea how much scrubbin’ it took t’ get it all off? An’ th’ kids gets off with a,” air quotes, “’warnin’.” Emphatically, “Lil’ kids saw it! Lil’ precious souls on their way t’ Sunday school!”

“ _Him_? Lydia’s date? You can’t really mean--”

Lydia comes to door, in High Goth, all the better to get Delia to demand she change and make Ted, or Stan, or Peter, or whatever the hell his name is, wait.

“Miss D.!” Beej grabs her arms. “Ya can’t! Cuz it’s him!”

Lydia has no idea what he's talking about, but she wings it. “Him?” Lydia widens her eyes. “ _Him?!_ ” Accusingly, “ _Mother!_ ”

Charles, with hot rum toddy, comes to door. “Am I missing something?”

Delia, “Join the club, we’ve got jackets.”

“Look, ya just hang out with me fer an hour or two, an’ you, “ Beej points at her parents, “you tell that kid she’s sick, or twisted her back, or came down with hepatitis--”

The guy drives up, opens door, holding a corsage.

Beej, pointing vehemently, “YOU!”

The guy blinks.

“YOU BASTARD!”

The guy looks at everyone on the porch staring at him, promptly ducks back into the car and drives off.

Lydia grabs Mr. Beelteman around the neck, sobbing hysterically. “Mother, how _could_ you?!”

Beej, patting her back, “It’s OK, Miss D., he’s gone.”

Lydia, “I don’t want to be alone right now!” Sobbing, heads inside, Beej’s arm supporting her.

Beej, “Chuck, Red, I’m gonna calm yer lil’ girl down. We’ll just grab some of those snacky thingies ya got on that plate there.”

Delia, “Canapes.”

Beej, “Naw, no can of peas, we’ll just take these. An’ maybe a beer.” Lydia howls miserably. They go upstairs.

Charles, “I really should film our daughter’s life more.”

THE END.


End file.
